On Sunday, I returned from SXSW. I’d never attended before and it blew my mind. I stayed for 10 days, and by the end felt like my brain had been processed through a meat grinder and my liver was floating in a sea of beer and vodka; in fact, I’m still sweating pure liquor. My yoga class was brutal yesterday.
Anyway, the interactive portion was truly brilliant. I’ve attended several conferences in Toronto, and found little nuggets of interesting insights, but the speakers at SXSW were exceptional. My only disappointment was with the majority of the panel discussions. At times the conversations came off as ego stroking and less about useful insights. That said, there was one panel that did affect me because of the context of the discussion. The panel was titled, Everything I Needed to Know about the Web I Learned from Feminism, and consisted of 4 females discussing their views on how feminists are persecuted for their beliefs online.
First off, as with most panels, I felt the title was extremely misleading. The discussion did not address what principles from feminism related to the web, but instead what I observed was a reinterpreting of their experiences with aggressive comments as attacks to their feminist ideology. Fair enough, but this is, in part, why I have a hard time with contemporary feminist views. I dig the philosophy of feminism. I really enjoy reading books by Gloria Steinem and Naomi Wolf, but I’m not sure that I fit in with the feminist crowd of today. I don’t entirely care if someone has misogynistic views; in fact, there are plenty of times when I use this character flaw to my own benefit. The blonde stereotype is alive and well and doesn’t apply only in the context of sexist men.
To me, hurtful or sexist comments are a situation when we need to step back and ask ourselves what is a reasonable expectation. If I allowed myself to feel angry and persecuted every time I felt I was treated in a sexist manner I'd spend most of my energy on situations that are outside of my control. Also, I don't think we need a society of politically correct robots. While no one deserves to be singled out or mistreated for any reason there needs to be open dialogue. Tolerance is not a one-sided action. At this stage of the game the issues remain big picture issues like seeing more females in politics vs. expending ourselves and our resources on discussions about nasty comments or off-hand remarks.
At the end of the panel I went up to a woman who had raised her hand and asked for help with her sexist co-workers. None of the panel had much to say. They basically were like, “don’t let those bastards beat you down sister!” I told her that she should address the issue with HR as sexism has been illegal for 20 years or more. She wasn’t very friendly this woman, and felt compelled to list all the places she’d worked and how much professional experience she had, and went on and on about how unique and complex her working environment is. She wasn't listening to me and didn’t want my help. Without a thought she was essentially attempting to put me back in my place as a dim blonde with no authority on the matter.
And as to men bashing women online, I don’t agree with the panels’ assumption that it is an attack on their principals. I think it’s more like anonymous online users who are bored and know an easy target when they see it. Once a bully knows what buttons to press he/she will go to the limit with it. Or maybe it's just like being in the backseat with your little brother as kids. Remember when he purposefully tried to annoy you by reaching into your personal space; hovering his finger inches from your face. Why react the same way now that you did back then? Just ignore him and soon enough he'll find some new way to get on your nerves.
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