Thinking about becoming an online moderator? Are you ready for parenthood?

There are all kinds of excellent resources out there about community moderation, but the absolute best practice is effective parenting. Both kids and community members need to know where their limits are in terms of their behaviour. Rules make us feel safe. As much as we like to think all we want is freedom the limitless unknown doesn’t bring out the best in most people.

The role of a moderator is not to spend their time hunting down every instance of bad behaviour. Just like the role of a good parent isn’t to monitor their children 24/7. The best way to teach is to lead by example. When a person is micro-managed they learn that they aren’t perceived to be capable of making good decisions. Consequently a person who is suppressed from forming their own better judgement hasn’t any.

Modelling is by far the best way to lead a community. Instead of focusing all the moderation time on tracking down rule-breakers look for the best examples of community participation. Spend your time reinforcing these members and rewarding their contributions. The more you push forward good behaviour the less reward there is for members to abuse the community. Just like teaching a toddler not to throw a fit community members need to learn the right way to voice their frustrations.

Time-outs are effective. The time to intervene is when negative behaviour affects you personally. Only when a child’s problem becomes a parent’s problem should they get involved. Members need to learn how to manage issues on their own and shouldn’t be encouraged to report abuse instead of speaking up for themselves. If a child hits another child it’s important for a parent not to take on the anger or emotion of the victim. Instead hitting should be discussed and use leading questions to allow the child to reach their own decisions about how to react. By reacting on behalf of the child a parent is taking the child’s ability to think for themselves away from them. No one learns from lectures or emotional reactions. We all learn best when able to form our own opinions through supportive guidance.

We guide and lead as moderators. We’re not a Gestapo or private police force. Raising responsible kids who are considerate and thoughtful isn’t hard when parents get out of the way and let kids learn from their mistakes. Swooping in to rescue members doesn’t teach them how to take care of themselves and moderators waste too much time solving other people’s problems. Managing an online community is extremely rewarding – just like being a parent, but the value isn’t from how strictly you enforce the rules. The value is from enabling empowered individuals with common values to work together to solve problems for themselves.